엠블랙

“Baby what are you doing here? Why are you still awake?” Seungho asked his 4 years old daughter, Lauren when he woke up, seeing her sitting next to him on the bed.


“I can’t sleep appa.” the little girl quietly said, pouting her lips a bit. 


He already knew why Lauren is there. She had a bad dream, though she used another excuse. Of course he knows his daughter. Lauren is the type of child who never wanted to bother other people. But when it comes to her having nightmare, she would always come to him even at the wee hours of the night. It became a habit to her already, sneaking into his room when she experiences nightmares.



“What is it princess? What happened in your dream?” he asked, taking her in his lap to cradle her. Lauren on the other hand, buried her small face on her father’s chest, cuddling to him.


“I miss mommy.” she whispered, obvious that she’s on the verge of tears already. 


He can’t help but feel sorry for his daughter. With her simple answer, he already knew what bugged her in her dream.


“We both do miss her sweetie.” he said, gently touching Lauren’s hair. It’s been almost a year already since everything happened. And Lauren is still trying to adjust and suffering more than him. 


It’s not easy for a four year old to bear such mind bugging scenes in her mind. A four year old child can barely understand everything but Lauren, for her age, she had suffered a lot already.


“Is she really not coming back appa?” Her eyes are shining because of tears, her voice in a whisper soft. 


The sight of his daughter in tears just breaks his heart more than anything else can. Especially when her question slipped her lips.


“No sweetie. Mommy’s not coming back anymore.” he answered in a low and soft voice.


Others might think that he’s too cruel for saying that to his daughter. But he doesn’t wanna see her hope for something that’s impossible to happen. He’d rather tell her the painful truth even though it’s going to hurt her than lie to her about something that isn’t even possible.


“Was it because of me appa? That’s why she’s not coming home anymore?”


Every time Lauren would ask him that, he can feel his heart breaking into pieces once again. Hearing her ask him that, it would automatically bring tears to his eyes as the flashback of the incident a year ago would flash in his mind.


It happened a year ago, Lauren was only three years old then. 


It was his wife’s birthday and they agreed that they’ll meet up for dinner date with Lauren. Sunhwa was driving with Lauren to meet him at his office. They got there safely, parking her car across the tall building of his office. As they were waiting for the cars to stop so they could cross the street, Lauren got excited upon seeing him waiting for them. She broke from her mother’s hand and excitedly ran up to him not minding the cars.


“Lauren!!” Sunhwa screamed, panicking that her daughter might get hit. Her instincts telling her to run after Lauren, she did. 


“Lauren! Why di-“


“Sunhwa!!” Seungho screamed, surprising her and Lauren. She looked up and got horrified to see the upcoming car that’s going to hit them. 


Lauren was pushed aside, Sunhwa’s body colliding against the bumper of the car and falling hard onto the ground.


“Mommy!!!!” The little girl screamed, seeing her mother’s lifeless and bloody body lying on the cold street of Seoul.


Sunhwa died the very moment, using her body to protect their daughter. Though Lauren got some bruises and broken arm due to the strong push of her mother, she was declared safe. But after a day of that, she experienced trauma witnessing her mother’s death with her own eyes. And that resulted to her nightmares.


“Of course not sweetie. That wasn’t your fault. And it never was.” He comforted her, cupping her small face with his hands. He can’t bear a minute seeing his Lauren blame herself for that accident.



“I’m sorry appa.” Her tears slowly trickled down on her cheeks, sadness visible in her tear filled eyes.


“You don’t have to say sorry sweetheart. You didn’t do anything. I’m sure, wherever mommy is right now, she doesn’t wanna see you crying. Mommy is in a safe place already princess. She’s always with us, watching you.” He carefully told her, wiping away her tears. “Stop crying now okay? Mommy doesn’t wanna see you crying, remember?” Lauren finally smiled a little, nodding her head.


“Hmmmn. How about you sleep next to daddy for tonight? Then I’ll make you your favorite pancakes tomorrow?” He then added, his daughter nodding her head before she excitedly crawled under the comforter and cuddled with him.


“Good night sweetheart.” He whispered to her, before Lauren finally drifted off to dreamland once again. A sly smile crossed his face as his wanders at his daughter’s sleeping face. She’s very much alike her mother, pretty, cheerful and full of life. And he’s sure, she would be like his wife when she grows up.


He fell asleep, cuddling Lauren closer to him. Being with his daughter also feels like he’s with Sunhwa.


“Always remember that I love you and Lauren so much. We’ll see each other again, my love. Take care of our daughter and always tell her how much she mean the world to us both. She’s smart like you love. I’m sure she’ll grow up as a fine lady. I love you Yang Seungho. I’ll always be with you, guiding and watching you. I love you.~


Seungho smiled in his sleep, letting the beautiful face of his wife fill his dream.